Do you ever have one of those moments where you read something and think “Did I read that correctly?” And you have to go back and look again…and then suddenly you’re so annoyed that you have to step away from the computer just to compose yourself?
That’s exactly what happened to me yesterday when this came across my Facebook feed….
His Words
This statement was made by someone that doesn’t even have any children.
And because I’m a nice person, I blocked out his name. Also, to be fair, here’s his side of the story…including an apology.
Sadly, I grabbed this screen shot and not the rest of the comments that were left for him. He has since deleted the post. Embarrassed? Annoyed? Who knows.. but it’s gone. He told me later that he was tired of seeing the negativity on Facebook surrounding parents “complaining” about their kids being out of school soon…. particularly stay at home moms.
Ouch. And Ouch.
Here’s a direct quote from him –
“I did not intend to insinuate that SAHMs were not allowed to be frustrated or tired. I didn’t even mean to insinuate that they are not allowed to express some of that frustration on Facebook. What I wanted to do was generate a discussion about negativity and how some mom’s (and dad’s for that matter!) seem to always be negative in their comments about parenting. I wanted to know why and if other mom’s or dad’s saw the same trend and what they thought about it.”
I’m not sure I’m buying all of this though…
Stop Judging Parents!
After I settled myself back down, it got me to thinking. As stay at home moms, why are we constantly judged?
I spend time (actually, ALL my time) with my girls, but that doesn’t mean I have plans for our summer. I’ve been thinking non-stop this last week about what I’m going to do once Maggie is out of school. She is in such a routine of seeing her friends, just as I am in a routine of having a few hours, three days a week to get some extra chores and errands done. We are all shifting into a new routine for a few months.
Everyone has something they are passionate about… I’m passionate about raising my children. Being a parent is the most important (and hardest) job in the world. I don’t like someone to jump in and tell me why they think I’m doing my “job” wrong. Especially, not from someone who has never even been in my shoes.
Take the High Road
So, rather than dwell on this negativity that he’s created in my head, I’d love for you to share all the great reasons you are excited to have your kids at home for the summer!
What are you excited to experience with your kids this summer?
Comments
Julia Roberts
Yes and yes and yes!
I didn’t know anything about this story but I just posted something yesterday about this very thing!
Julia Roberts
PS — we’re looking forward to sleep the most (that’s the kids too!)
Megan
As someone who’s hoping to become a SAHM very soon, this hits home. Being a SAHM is something – actually the only thing – I’m ever wanted to do. We’re incredibly fortunate to all this to happen, and I’m beyond excited.
However, I already feel like I’m getting the snide eye. I’ve had a few people give me such a weird look when I tell them I’m not planning on going back to work. I’ve even gotten a few – so what are you really going to do with your time?
I really wish people would just keep their comments to themselves. Being able to stay home with your kids is a total blessing. Please stop judging me for wanting that for my family.
To each’ s own. Get a filter.
Ruth
Just playing with my kiddo. We don’t have any specific plans for the summer. We plan to swim, be outside, watch movies, in general be a family. My husband & I both work and treasure every minute we get to “hang out with him”
Hanan
The thing is…unless you have walked a mile in their shoes, you have no right to judge anyone.
I’d like to see him spend every waking hour with a few young children for two months straight.
Michelle
We recently moved back to San Diego so we plan on going out exploring the parks, beaches and museums. My kids were too young to enjoy them when we lived here before so I am excited to introduce it all to them now.
And as a SAHM, I know how important “sanity breaks” are so I am sure I will have/need a few of those during summer. 🙂
Stefanie
Sadly, I think there are a lot of parents who push off their kids to camps and what not over the summer, even when they are SAHM…so the tweet doesn’t bother me and I don’t see it as judging. But I see your point too, it’s not nice to judge or assume all parents are like this.
Vanessa
I agree completely. However, I have to admit, that even as a parent, I judge. I don’t try to. Although, I’m not sure it would be judging so much as feeling the need to understand why a parent would choose one option over another. But I will say, I did, just this morning, post on facebook about how I can’t stand when a parent will spoil their irresponsible adult children. A child that drinks (and drives), smokes pot and possibly other drugs, and blames others for their choices and consequences of them. It drives me batty to see a parent make excuses for their adult children (especially when those adult children have their own children) and allow them to do things just because “that’s who my son is”. He’s just that way. I don’t buy it….
But as far as judging while they child is young, I try my best and remind myself not to.
Annie @ Mama Dweeb
Good points! Did he even stop to think about WAHMs who have 2 burdens now? Nope. And yes, I AM negative on facebook. It’s where I go to vent and get support for feeling this way. Sorry Charlie, parenting is not all roses and sunshine!
The Bearded Iris
I have been wrestling with similar judgmental issues on my blog. What a drag. I like your positive approach! I took my three kids to the pet store today and we bought our first gecko. We’re going to learn about reptiles together (if we can keep him alive). Also, lots and lots of TV, yard work, and Benedryl. Kidding. OMG, stop judging me.
Delilah
I’m a stay home mom with 5 kids. I get judgments all the time and it drives me insane. I got a rather snarky comment from a friend of the family recently. He mentioned how I was putting my very expensive degree to such great use by changing diapers all day long. I was so angry. I’ve also gotten comments on our family size. The most recent was “what are you? some kind of kid hoarder?” Who says that? Gah. Unless I’m tying my kids to the radiator with a leash (which I’m not BTW) then nobody has the right to judge me or my family. Some days are rough and I vent. How many times have we heard working people vent about their obnoxious boss or co-worker? Well my kids are my boss & co-workers so yeah, sometimes I vent. Great post!
amber
I love summer. I’m so excited to have my oldest two home they are both teenagers and I’ll hear I’m bored before the first week is up. So why am I excited? Little brother is beyond ecstatic to have them around more often. I’m beyond thrilled to break away from normal routines and just have fun times with them. It won’t be long and they’ll be off to college and I’ll be missing them. Plus sleeping in doesn’t hurt much.
Michelle
Uh…seems like he was back pedaling a bit, no? Good for you to take the higher road…so hard to that especially when someone comments, questions or judges you as a parent! I’m looking forward to less driving back and forth to preschool but I’ll miss the Structure it provides….
I’m looking forward to more family days and spontaneity!
Katie Vyktoriah
Hiya. Found you thru the June Blog Hop and have followed you on twitter/facebook/email subs, etc. 🙂 Great blog! Really loving it and can’t wait to explore more!
Kasheia
The power of opinion. I’m a WAHM and I’m judged it seems even if I’m away from my kids for more than 10 minutes.
I kind of do see where the thought may have originated, but it was quite judgmental of him to make that statement off the bat — situations are different, people are different, kids are different.
I think he’s apology was sincere and he’s certainly entitled to his own opinions, but I hope next time he’ll be a little more mindful.
Michelle @Special Mom Space
I see both points of view. I’m not a SAHM but I am a SNM (special neds mom). I work out of the home mostly all day and to be honest I’m so tired that spending time with my son is far from my mind…except on weekends.
Every situation is different. You never know what a person is going through that they just can’t embrace spending time with their kids the whole time.